THE WOUNDS OF MARRIAGE

THE SILENT STORM IN JENNY'S MARRIAGE

By Noel Omukubi

Jenny’s husband Nathan was cheating on her and she knew it. Nathan did not know that Jenny knew of his erratic ways, his hidden affair that he thought was properly tucked away. She cried in the bedroom, in the dark alone on this particular night when her husband did not come back home. It was 11.30pm and he had not yet come back home. She knew that he was at the other woman’s house. He had told her that he was working late and he would come home as soon as he was done with work. She wondered which work he was doing at that time of the night. She imagined him smiling and giving all his affection to the other lady as she sat in the house lonely and cold waiting for him. 

Lately Nathan had become distant; he was disconnected from her and had become very detached. He no longer engaged her in any meaningful conversation. In fact, he rarely spoke to her and whenever he did, it was when he needed to find a missing sock or to find out if there was an unsettled pending bill or if the children needed anything. He claimed to be too busy, yet she knew that his attention and all his time now belonged to another woman.

How she cried in pain when she remembered the beautiful times they had spent together when they were newly married. She remembered how she met Nathan, a humble man of promise with a great future, the beautiful time of courtship and love, the beautiful moments of love they had shared when they were newly married, the struggles they went through together trying to establish themselves in life, the many days they had to make do as they believed in God for a better day, a day of breakthrough. Nathan was a humble man and how he loved Jenny. She was also crazy about him. He was God sent. He understood her, treated her like a queen, took care of her like a baby. She remembered the many conversations they used to have till late in the night laughing while sleeping on the floor as they could not afford a bed at that time.

God did come through for them like he always does. Jenny’s Husband got a job, a well-paying job. How Jenny jumped and celebrated because of this job. One would have thought that she was the one who had gotten the job. They would now bid poverty goodbye. Times of hardship ended and change came. Their lifestyle improved significantly and Jenny and her husband were now counted among the well to do in society. But as times changed, so did Jenny’s husband. He slowly started slipping away from her. She knew it, she saw it and tried to prevail on her husband that they had a marriage to work on. He seemed indifferent, like he did not understand what there was to work on. After all, they were already married and he was not going anywhere. Jenny cried when she remembered how she found out that her husband was cheating on her with another woman. The worst part is that the lady he was cheating on her with taunted her about it.

Jenny never told her husband that his mistress was sending her abusive texts insulting her. Nathan’s mistress would tell Jenny over and over about how she was going to take Jenny’s husband away from her. Jenny was afraid of being abandoned by Nathan. He was her whole life, her happiness. She loved him and wanted her marriage to work. Unfortunately, Jenny never shared her predicament with anyone. She pretended in front of her family, colleagues and friends that all was well. She was always making excuses for Nathan whenever she was asked of his whereabouts; she always had a story to tell. She would say that he had travelled or that he was overwhelmed with work. The truth is no one knew what Jenny was going through. No one knew that Jenny was a lonely, bitter, angry and heartbroken woman. She did not want anyone to know. She carried herself in public as a perfect wife in a happy marriage. She was far from this and not even her mother, her best friend or pastor knew about this.

Jenny was ashamed. How could she tell anybody about this thing that was eating her up, silently killing her? How could she open up and tell people that the man she had trusted the most had betrayed her and wounded her deeply? She had to maintain the image of a perfect wife, well kept by her husband. She thought she was doing the right thing.

Like Jenny, many of us go through life’s storms silently. We hide things that we feel other people should not know about because we fear being judged. We fear being called imperfect, we fear being ridiculed, and we fear becoming the topic of discussion; so we die alone. The storm blows hard, and hits us hard to the very core and we are afraid to call out to anyone, not even to Jesus.

The storm literally tears us apart, piece by piece, shred by shred, tossing us here and there. Oh and how we suffer when all we need to do is open up. There is always someone ready to listen and to help. And even if it is not a human, God is always ready to listen and to help. There is a way out. Open your eyes and see it.

THE SILENT STORM'S SERIES